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A voyeur's life.
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Date:2013-12-06 09:36

When first they knew of changelings,
they didn't know what to do. How to tie
these precious children, these beloved strangers,
these not-their-own,
so that they would stay?
How to get back their own,
who they would never get back?

And so they invented familial obligation,
and respect unearned for all elders,
and self-sacrifice for those who neither asked nor wanted it.

They didn't understand that healthy love ties stretch,
that wandering feet do not have to mean lack of home,
that just as growth requires change,
change requires growth,
and growth becomes both appetite and food.

They didn't see that not all people require roots that are attached to place.
Or couldn't.

Changeling blood blooms strange, sometimes late, sometimes never.
Wind calls it, and water, and roads, and words.

And beyond the mists, nomads want to give their own beloved strangers,
their own not-their-own,
wings instead of roots,
wandering feet instead of bedrock to rest upon,
discovery of more than the safety of a known horizon.

Pity us? No.
But know that when I listen to the wind,
I know you hear it too.
Yes or No does not hurt the wind.

Are you hungry?
Come walk with me, and feed.

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Date:2013-07-29 15:56

For my mom, who is amazing in ways I never will be.

I remember dragonflies and fireflies,
dancing jewels against a backdrop of magnificent commonplace things.
A small pond of green water, frogs no bigger than my thumbnail,
and dragonflies, iridescent in the sun,
flying gems that show how black really does contain all colors.
Twilight, that hint that eyes have their place but ears, oh ears,
sound has richness too, richness that spills over into feeling
like scent spills into memory.
I remember catching fireflies when I was younger,
chasing little stars come to visit.
Sometimes I'd make a wish.
And I remember, deeper than thought or knowing,
that you were there, always there, even when you were elsewhere.
Sound spills into feeling, scent spills into memory,
but touch spills into belief.
You believe in me.
I believe in you.
And in dragonflies.

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Date:2013-07-28 19:35

The strangest things arise from mishearing something. My son said he wanted to hear a song titled Underdog, and I heard Younger Dog. After that, you can see that I need sleep

The Elder God
has a Younger Dog
who normally sleeps at his feet
but every so often, the
Younger Dog
wants to play.

So while there are many legends
about why the Elder God
will rise,
one that is never mentioned
is that the Elder God wakes laughing
because the Younger Dog
is licking his facial tentacles with an eldritch tongue,
wagging a fluffy-scaled tail,
and dancing on the Elder God's stomach.

Please, throw the poor Younger Dog
a soul to fetch back.
He's waited so patiently, after all.

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Date:2013-06-15 17:02

Is there really any point to keeping a journal if I don't want to write down things because I don't want certain people to read them?

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Date:2013-05-14 12:06

Posted this as a reply to someone else on Facebook a few months ago, and promptly lost it. Putting it here now to try and not lose it again.

The moon gazes down at me from behind a veil of clouds,
Half-sly, half-shy,
enticing me to the road. The wind agrees.
"Come, follow, seek," an elusive call
that might be song or perfume or caress
or something subtler. I don't know.
I want to stretch wings wide, create
a silhouette across the moon,
and just go. It's not my feet that itch
to take a step, it's my fingers, it's my skin,
it's the hair across my cheek, it's the eyes
that I can't keep down.
If we are children of the stars, mayhap that urge
for the empty spaces lives in us always.
The scents and warmth and light and noise of others
anchor us here,
but we do not forget that solitude, and it
can be glory.

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Date:2013-04-11 08:29

Because I'm a doofus and forgot to crosspost this from Facebook. I wrote it on April 7th after some music grabbed me.

What words fall sweetest to my ears
Are sung in tongues I do not speak,
From voices fed with foreign spice
And sun and stars not known to me.

What words fall sweetest to my pen,
And pattern from my fingertips,
Those words I learned from my first breath
They flowed, with milk, soft past my lips

What time, what place, I should call home
I do not know, at least not yet.
My feet have yet to lead me there
And never will, I now suspect.

So words I hear, and songs that call
Will lure me on past life or breath.
I haven't heard the call of home,
But will not give up, not just yet.

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Date:2013-01-16 07:32

Sense of Adventure,
All my messages in bottles
are addressed to you.
I daren't send a one.
I shouldn't send a one.
You won't reply.
If I could hope that you would,
I'd fall into a pit of my own making,
Sticky with old regrets and hopes gone wrong.
I know better than that bittersweet well-worn road.
But still there are
so many messages in bottles,
and still
all are addressed to you.

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Date:2012-11-18 22:04

I don't know why I keep posting stuff to f'book and forgetting to crosspost it here.

I turned this in as an English paper. Teacher was impressed. I don't see why. Not fishing for compliments, this honestly just seems like a "If you stop and think about it" kind of thing.

Anyway, here.Collapse )

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Date:2012-08-22 15:02

Well, I opened my mouth and stuck my foot in it, and now I really should write up the gospels of the Wagging Savior.

There will be much consultation with Dusty. I might have to give her a hamburger or something.

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Date:2012-05-17 22:42

The meme:

Leave me a comment saying "Resistance is Futile."

• I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity
• Update your journal with the answers to the questions
• Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions

Answers for stress_kitten

What has been the most challenging thing about raising your son?

Other people. Other kids not wanting to play with him, other people giving me dirty looks because he had a meltdown in public, teachers who tried to blackmail me (I had one teacher report me to Department of Child and Family Services because I was giving him benadryl. She disapproved of me drugging my child. Somehow I'd have thought she'd disapprove of him being more meltdown-prone and likely to throw his school desk, and potentially hurting other students by accident. Go figure.)

And sadly and strangely enough, other parents of children with problems who don't raise their children to be people. My son is on the autism spectrum: that means that he sometimes has temper and frustration problems. Despite that, he is a gentle and polite and generous person, he remembers to say please and thank you, and he is not violent. It took a lot of work on his part and on mine. It took a lot of reminding and reinforcing that I love him but some things are not acceptable. In short, it took treating him like a child who needs to be taught, not warehoused or ignored or drugged into catatonia. I don't claim to be a spectacular parent, just an adequate one, but some of the parents around me shouldn't be trusted with an empty cardboard box.

What has been the most wonderful thing about raising your son?

Seeing who he's becoming. He's a wonderful kid.

Where is the best place for you to relax?

Relax? What's this "relax" you speak of?

Between book covers or in the bathtub.

What are you going to school to become?

Right now I'm trying to get a nursing degree. I want a back-up plan, just in case things get interrupted, but right now "get a nursing degree" is the whole plan.

What is your happiest memory?

I'm not sure. There are people who I am happy to remember, but happy events are less real.

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Date:2012-04-04 21:10
Subject:Autism Awareness

1) I am aware that even if an instant cure for autism was discovered and freely available, that cure would not result in my child being instantly "normal."

2) I am aware that autistic people have their own dreams, thoughts, wants, and comfort zones, and being cured may not be something they want.

3) I am aware that being autistic does not make a person less than human. Less able to communicate or blend in socially, yes: less human or less worthy of being treated with respect and kindness, no.

4) I am aware that being autistic does not render a person less capable of loving, being hurt, being offended, giving or experiencing joy, or experiencing any other part of the spectrum of human emotional experiences.

5) I am aware that being autistic does not guarantee that a person will have nothing but bad days, or nothing but good days. As with any person, an autistic person's life is greatly influenced by the people around them, and as with any person an autistic person's life and emotional states and stability will be affected by their environment.

6) I am aware that while autistic people may have a great number of symptoms that are common to autism, that symptoms list is a guideline. The symptoms may differ in severity, number, and cause. The stereotypical autistic person is just that, a stereotype, and as such is just as true and just as false as every other stereotype.

7) I am aware that my child is a person, not a disease and certainly not a defect. He is changeable, just like any other person, and because he is changeable he will change how he behaves.

8) I am aware that as the parent to an autistic person, my responsibilities are pretty-much the same as that of any other parent. My child needs to know he is loved, needs to be fed and clothed and cared for and housed and seen for who he is. Whether or not he displays appreciation, or even awareness, of having received these things is irrelevant.

9) I am aware that as the parent of an autistic person, I will continue to be a person. I must be honest with myself, ask for help when I need it, and care for myself so that I may best take care of those people and things that I need to take care of. Martyring myself needs to be the last option, not the first one.

10) I am aware that denying a possibility of autism, or an autism diagnosis, will not make my child's problems vanish. Denying that my child is autistic, or refusing to have him evaluated, is not a way to help my child : managing food allergies is. Getting vocational help is. Researching treatments so I can avoid the crackpot ones is. Protecting him and helping him to avoid abusive situations is. Doing my best to let him know that he can rely on me is.

I am aware that autistic people are PEOPLE.

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Date:2012-01-04 02:52

Welcome to 2012.

Two things I want for this year. Less anger, and more music.

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Date:2011-12-31 23:27

At midnight, I'm lighting a candle. It's the closest I can get to putting a calendar on the barbeque and burning 2011 in effigy.

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Date:2011-12-22 12:29

Happy holidays. Because Catholics celebrate Christmas over twelve days, but only one day is Christmas Day, and Catholics are Christians because they worship Christ.

Or: Happy holidays. Because there are other holidays during this time period whether you celebrate them or not.

Or: Happy holidays. Because saying "I'm right and you're wrong," doesn't win friends and favorably influence people who aren't already on your side.

Or: Happy holidays. Because trying to be inclusive and tolerant is something Christians are encouraged to do, and while most Christians are able to do just that, the ones who are loudly intolerant and insistently exclusive have really missed the point of the many ways the Bible says to love one another.

But mostly: Happy holidays. Because I want you to be happy most of the days of your life, not just the ones that are designated as special in some way.

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Date:2011-12-09 20:59

Random pseudo-survey.

What do you not post because you feel like you've said it often enough that other people are sick of it? (Let alone you being sick of it).

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Date:2011-11-22 18:07


May she and Robinton share many glasses of Benden white, and many stories and songs.

I wanted to be a geneticist when I was a little girl, because of reading about fire lizards. She wrote the first character whose death made me cry.

Fly high and far, through all times, my lady. You've helped countless of us readers to do just that.

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Date:2011-11-05 20:45

I was looking at my hands this morning, as one does. Or maybe not: I know I'm strange sometimes.

I've got a moderate amount of scarring. Abrasions, cuts, burns, scratches, a couple I see but don't remember where they came from. A few I know should be there, but are faded/worn in so I don't see them anymore. Lots of roughness around my cuticles for a couple of reasons. Skin starting to show age on the back.

These hands can, or used to be able to, cook, type, play the piano, crochet, change diapers, dry tears, relieve pain or soothe pain until the wound heals.

I have cleaned bodies and houses and various things, shot (only paper targets, somewhat annoying as I've never been hunting and want to acquire that skill set), driven, packed and moved and unpacked. I've written stories and poems and letters and school papers and a few blog posts. I've expressed a wide range of emotions. I stopped someone from trying to slash her wrists once. I've climbed trees. I've told the truth, I've lied, and I've told the truth in lying ways and lied in truthful ways, and I've told facts.

My hands can show my love. They can help me remember.

They can connect.

What do your hands do?

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Date:2011-10-31 20:42


Dammit. Just... dammit.

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Date:2011-10-19 10:05

Looks like the people who stole our wallets in August are part of a nationwide organization known as Felony Lane. Nifty.

Their modus operandi is to target parking lots, particularly at schools and shopping malls, and break windows to take valuables. Be careful, folks.

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Date:2011-10-12 21:51
Subject:Mississippi Personhood Amendment

http://tammy212.livejournal.com/112055.html#comments Tamora Pierce has some commentary on this as well as some other evil.

seawasp provided this, which in true Wiki fashion is linked and linked and linked. http://ballotpedia.org/wiki/index.php/Mississippi_Life_Begins_at_the_Moment_of_Fertilization_Amendment,_Initiative_26_%282011%29

I can admit that evil and stupidity of this magnitude exists, but I will never be able to understand it.

Originally posted by gabrielleabelle at Mississippi Personhood Amendment

Okay, so I don't usually do this, but this is an issue near and dear to me and this is getting very little no attention in the mainstream media.

Mississippi is voting on November 8th on whether to pass Amendment 26, the "Personhood Amendment". This amendment would grant fertilized eggs and fetuses personhood status.

Putting aside the contentious issue of abortion, this would effectively outlaw birth control and criminalize women who have miscarriages. This is not a good thing.

Jackson Women's Health Organization is the only place women can get abortions in the entire state, and they are trying to launch a grassroots movement against this amendment. This doesn't just apply to Mississippi, though, as Personhood USA, the group that introduced this amendment, is trying to introduce identical amendments in all 50 states.

What's more, in Mississippi, this amendment is expected to pass. It even has Mississippi Democrats, including the Attorney General, Jim Hood, backing it.

The reason I'm posting this here is because I made a meager donation to the Jackson Women's Health Organization this morning, and I received a personal email back hours later - on a Sunday - thanking me and noting that I'm one of the first "outside" people to contribute.

So if you sometimes pass on political action because you figure that enough other people will do something to make a difference, make an exception on this one. My RSS reader is near silent on this amendment. I only found out about it through a feminist blog. The mainstream media is not reporting on it.

If there is ever a time to donate or send a letter in protest, this would be it.

What to do?

- Read up on it. Wake Up, Mississippi is the home of the grassroots effort to fight this amendment. Daily Kos also has a thorough story on it.

- If you can afford it, you can donate at the site's link.

- You can contact the Democratic National Committee to see why more of our representatives aren't speaking out against this.

- Like this Facebook page to help spread awareness.

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